ON A TOWN SQUARE

I’m sitting in a cafe in Pendleton, South Carolina, having a blueberry scone and a latte -delicious! I look out at the town square and the shops and it is the quiet of the place that reminds me of how tired I was. The traffic jam was on I-187 and was about 8 cars slowly traveling behind the Pendleton High school bus. On either side of the car were fields; a bit different from life in Annapolis, Baltimore and DC! But leaving the area that I have called home since 1992 - was exhausting, because good-byes can be! The last day in Annapolis, I had a few sessions, a eulogy, and an airport pick-up before I began that evening the journey south to Miami, the city that will be my departure to India.

Sitting here and remembering this morning’s contemplation, the focus of the retreat I facilitate at the Unity Church of Creative Living in St. John’s (Jax), Florida this coming weekend I am refreshed and grateful for the gift of this congregation. I WILL BE HEALED AS HE TEACHES ME HOW TO HEAL, the words from the Course in Miracles is comforting. As I prepared the outline, there it was, spread before me like a garden and I can't wait to sit in the sanctuary again, where I have been so welcomed and supported, and hear the Teachings with so many Friends. Thank you UCCL. I am there Friday night and Saturday before I leave afterward for Gainesville, then, Miami!

Yesterday, I made the flight reservations for Delhi, through London, and I was surprised at the emotion I felt and the tears which quickly flowed. It is with both relief and with release- isn’t it always? I sopke with my sweet sister, Candy (thank you again, Candy-cane) who helped me in ways she doesn’t even know, being on the other end of the line and helping me select my seat for the flights from Miami and London. It’s done. I am going again.

Some ask me why I am returning if it was so hard and I had the opportunity to consider this as I answered: India was hard, but living back in the states, in some ways, is harder! Why?

In my own limited understanding, I haven’t quite learned how to be IN the world, but not of it! It looks different to me than to many others who see their circumstances and those of others as tragic and real and hard. When the reality of the dreamlike quality of what we call this outer world becomes clear, one can SEE the world passing before one’s eyes and the reaction is what is missing. One can’t drum up the same terror, I guess. It’s as if I can’t get the RPM’s on this old mind to spin as fast as it did in the past and my experience is of something central to me that is just still.... Still. All around me the whirling and the blur of activity; but inside - STILLNESS.

Now, you know me; I’m no accomplished master or guru! Just an ordinary person who pursued what others might see as an extraordinary path - that, or I’m just nuts! You choose!

So, in returning to Samtenling nunnery I know what to expect and making the arrangements is so much easier. I hope only to stabilize the changes and to rest longer in that Stillness and to write, and of course - to teach English to the nuns, my students there!

The gratitude I feel to all and each of you is honestly, a bit overwhelming. One of the things I finally really get is that no one can go it alone. Each of us holds a piece of the puzzle and a piece of the Universal Heart and only together, all of us without exception, can one experience this Holiness - this Wholeness! You have given me your love, your questions; even your doubts and some, have supported me with checks and cash given without attachment - all is part of the stones that build this path of pilgrimage.

I continue to work on the book BUDDHIST FOOTPRINTS IN A CHRISTIAN HEART and I am currently writing more chapters that I hope will better clarify this pilgrimage I am on to know God, to realize Buddha-nature; to rest in the Truth beyond lineages, cultures, languages and ritual! Why not? and why not now?

I have a blog: NELLIE IN INDIA that Kay has linked the website www.nellielauth.com.

Please don’t send anything to the PO BOX in Annapolis! I’M NOT THERE!! Email me if you need to send something!

Where will it end now? Where does it begin? NOW.

In THIS moment. With YOU. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

WITH LOVE

ALWAYS

AND IN ALL WAYS

NELLIE

Please join me in celebration of this next leg of pilgrimage!

My Dear Friends: I am going back to India! I have only just received a request to teach again at Samtenling Nunnery in Dehradun, where I was in 2008 - 2009. I leave Annapolis in 2 days, heading south to Miami and will return in May, 2011.

The Unity Church of Creative Living (UCCL) is again giving me a platform in which to teach and I am going to be in Jacksonville to facilitate retreat on Friday night OCTOBER 1 and 2. It is so helpful to have a way to articulate the teachings and I am most grateful to this congregation for their generosity and support.

I am making the final arrangements for this next leg of this pilgrimage. Having already given away everything, packing is much easier; having already been to India, the logistics of visa and passport is already completed. This time, I am a paid staff member teaching English to the nuns for a stipend, which is most generous of the Drikung Kagyu Institute and of Namgyal Tahkla, who oversees the operation of our monastery. I will be sending ongoing conversations to Kay who will post them on the blog: NELLIE IN INDIA.

All and all; it has been great and it is the most logical next step. The first time I went to India, I struggled much with my own mind and the fruits of that wrestling is a space inside my chest; just that - a space. I wrote a book called BUDDHIST FOOTPRINTS IN A CHRISTIAN HEART; It contains the journal and contemplations which describe the inner turmoil of facing one’s own mind! How great - for the resultant peace is beyond description, although we write volumes of words describing the wordless; we are a funny species.

In ancient Indian scriptures it is written:

The world is an illusion.
Brahman alone is real.
Brahman is the world.

The first 2 lines are realized as GOD ALONE IS; that is Brahman. The goal of this journey and of my life is to integrate is the third- to then see all as Brahman, as Buddha, as the Christ.

Wish me well, as I do you. I can only wish that we all awaken from this dream of birth, aging, suffering and death and realizing the Truth of our own nature, celebrate in great Joy.

You can easily google DKI Dehradun (Drikung Kagyu Institute) and you’ll find the official website and description of this lineage. The address there is: DKI Nunnery,
PO Kulhan, 248001, Dehradun, Uttarakhand, India.

The blog is NELLIE IN INDIA. Kay Wolf will manage this and I will send out one more email when I arrive in South Florida, along with Kay’s email address. Until then, I am packing and traveling! I will not be able to send and receive email as we do here; that is why I can send the information to Kay who will post the content; our internet access is limited in the village I live.

I thank each and all of you for your support and for the gifts of your Friendship. May the fruit of this and all journeys alleviate the suffering of all beings, without exception.

Finally, I thank the lama: Khenchen Konchog Gyaltsen Rinpoche, for the teachings he gives without words. May I dive into That.

with Love
N

June 2, 2009-- Return and Retreat

Dearest Ones. May this find you well and filled with the Light of Wisdom and Compassion!

I am indeed back from India and returned to the Annapolis area just yesterday, so I am still unpacking and acclimating which includes arranging for phone service, mail etc... Being "home" has filled me with so much gratitude, especially for those who I love and who love me! The latter part has taken me years to realize and the gifts, the welcome and the support has been incredible. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you have done through packages, through letters, gifts and love and prayers!

Regarding PRIVATE SESSIONS; at this time, I am suspending this as I am traveling much this summer, have 3 retreats scheduled as well as other work which I have subcontracted. I will let you know in the fall how this shapes out!

RETREAT.

I can't wait to see you on FRIDAY, JUNE 12TH (7 - 9 p.m.) and SATURDAY, JUNE 13th, ( 9 a.m. - 4 p.m.)

Friday night is the opening and invocation and will include of course, chanting: Yeah.
For Saturday, we'll be eating lunch together (bring your own!) and we'll have water and tea for you. Please keep it light. When doing deep work, you don't want to have your body competing with your mind for attention! As you go in, heavy food brings you out! Wear comfortable clothes and bring a meditation cushion if you'd like. Friends Meeting House is lovely and we do have chairs available for you!

In the Upanishads, and in prayers repeated often by Mahatma Gandhi, it is written: "Lord, lead me from the unreal to the real. From the False to the True. And from Death to Immortality." What do these words really mean? What is real and how does one MOVE from the unreal to the real? This is what we'll explore together simply in our gathering. It will be a simple and deeply contemplative experience and I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to join you and to share with you some of the gifts of India related to this theme.

Please note that I can be reached now only through this email address until further notice! That's at nellie.lauth@gmail.com which I will check regularly. Of course I cannot counsel anyone or give advise through the internet and I know that you will honor this and not try to send issues to me that I cannot respond to! Thank you for this consideration.

with Love and Gratitude Always, Nellie

May 29, 2009-- Back in the USA

Just a note to Nellie's Blog followers, Nellie is back in the USA! She will be seeing clients, so watch for blog post on that information. Also, don't forget the teaching 12-13 Jun in Annapolis. See blog entry below.

May 7, 2009-- Coming Home

Hello, Dear Friends,

It seems that I have been remiss and have not been in touch; forgive me! I have been closing out this year with the nuns I am officially finished with teaching as our academic year is over and the next few weeks are just exams and self study! I have time to meditate and read - in fact, many nuns and monks leave for the summer and will be gone before I am so there will be lots of time for practice - hope I take advantage of it! The last week, instead of traveling, I'll go into retreat to prepare to come home. AND to stay home.

Just this past week, I felt that it was time for me to return to my life and work in the states. I will not be returning in the fall to India as planned and here at the nunnery, the process of saying goodbye is in full swing and is hard. The nuns had a tea to thank 2 other lamas for their work and for me just the other day - the leaving became official. Wow. It seems that I have been here forever and just arrived.

For me and for my own healing process, I think Nepal sealed the deal! Much happened that is impossible to describe in words in terms of the interior - the realm of the mind. The searching and struggle to find God, the Truth, that I have been on for 40 years seemed to culminate there, in Kathmandu, and so many memories, meditations, insights, struggles and questions came together for me, as if something woven like a blanket, was completed and the threads all formed an understanding deep, deep, - someplace deep within.

I am looking forward to coming home but also hope I am able to maintain the simplicity that this nunnery has allowed me to experience as a lifestyle. How do I thank all these nuns and the staff? How can I ever let them know the Gift of being here? The generosity and kindnesses - where do I begin? One ani, Sangay, came to my room and asked if I was not coming back and was so sad. She will be here all summer; we have time before I leave to say good-bye and find the Gift of knowing that our connection is beyond space and time - this is my wish and my hope as I leave my friends and this family....

I have the retreat in mid-June in Annapolis and in late June in Jacksonville and then in Oklahoma in August and I know these three gatherings witll give me the opportunity to articulate some of these experiences - the struggles and the insights form the fabric of this weaving! May it keep us all warm! And then, the Path will unfold as it always does, with Grace.

Many time over this past 8 months I have remembered that we are like children sleeping and dreaming terrible dreams and Compassion is the Mother who is holding us as we sleep until we gently awaken.

Much love to you all. What a REUNION we will have! Nellie

May 1, 2009-- Happy May Day

Just a quick reminder of the upcoming event with Nellie is still scheduled:


SAVE THE DATE
and save yourself from the INSANITY of fear!!

GOING FOR BROKE
How to remember ABUNDANT JOY in a crashing market

FRIDAY June 12 7 - 9 pm
SATURDAY June 13 9 - 4 pm

Annapolis, MDFriends Meeting House
351 Dubois Rd., Annapolis, MD 21401, USA

(From Rt. 50, exit at Rowe Blvd./Bestgate Rd and turn left at the light on Bestgate. After one long block, turn right at the light before the Catholic Church. Then take the first left at Dubois and go to the end of the street . Despite what Mapquest or Google Maps display, the meeting house is at the end of the street.)

My Dear Friends, please come and join me as we contemplate what the message is in times like this in which fear and catastrophic thoughts are bombarding us every day. The Dalai Lama was very clear that despite the massive suffering Chairman Mao rained down upon the Tibetans, that he was his friend. His Holiness said many times that the Chinese are my friends, for they give me an object for my practice of Compassion.

So it is with us; this economic "downturn" is simply an opportunity for each of us to walk the walk and to live as if we know that the Truth about ourselves is never threatened. Jesus said simply, in the Course, "NOTHING REAL CAN BE THREATENED. NOTHING UNREAL EXISTS. HEREIN LIES THE PEACE OF GOD." Period.

We will gather and I will have the great Joy of sharing my experiences of India with you and to share this time gathering all of our resources that we stabilize our little ego minds as a mother takes a child by the hand and leads her away from a dangerous edge of fear. It is that simple. The Truth doesn't fluctuate as the market does!! The value of COMPASSION doesn't rise and fall as the dollar does!

And your own self-worth cannot change; ever. This is what we have waited for - to be put to the test. This time, we will chose to love and to forgive and to be at peace!

"Why do you worry about what to wear or how to feed yourselves? Consider the lilies of the field." Please consider joining us. Please consider your own state of mind and the approach you want to make and the attitude you want to cultivate at this time and allow this decision to become a great Light for those around you and in this world that cries out for comfort. Let us consider the Path of Joy, now and always

with Love, Nellie

One of Those Days--April 9, 2009

We had a few days of storms with a good drenching of rain, which left the skies unusually clear as far as we can see. I took a walk after my 7:15 class, to a village called Rajpur, behind us and across the river bed that runs from the hills. It's a good hike, up and down and over rocky ground and I was following an Indian man who like many here is simply wearing his flip flops and traversing the ground without the benefit of such things like Nikes and special pants and outfits, as we Westerners are so fond of! I watched him on this one steep part of the path down to the river and was amazed! We have special shoes for hiking and running and walking and here, like with the nuns and monks, flip flops do for everything. I was so humbled!

The Nepalese women who work on the wallls being built are wearing the colorful shalwar kameez as I think I told you and I am blown away, over and over, by this simplicity!

I have been to Nepal and stayed in Boudnath, in Kathmandu, the site of the very famous and iconic stupa that I am sure many of you have seen. My visa requires that I leave India every six months and this is the easiest and quickest trek across the border. With the Himalayas alongside the left side of the jet on approach, I was able to see the highest mountains in the world, snow covered, majestic and so powerful. We had cloud cover all the way until just alongside this great view!

The very next morning, and I mean 3 a.m., there was a special puja (prayers) at the monastery where I was staying. Shechen Guest House is a part of the Shechen Monastery founded by the great Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, who was both student and teacher to the Dalai Lama. He died some years ago, and three years later, his incarnation was found (now about 18 years old) - known as Dilgo Khyentse Yangtse - and he was leading these very powerful prayers in the temple. I walked across the courtyard at about 3:30 am and the lama at the temple door immediately began to question me! He asked, very forcefully, "Where did you come from?" !!! I said, probably equally as forcefully, Shechen monastery! He then asked, "Do you know what's going on? Why are you here?" And I answered that I was there for the empowerment with Dilgo Khyentse! Well, I passed and was allowed in with few other westerners to this great opportunity in this very powerful environment. All day we had puja and I took wonderful photos - and by the way - the lama at the door, Lama Padma - well, we became friends a day later when he led us on a tour to the home of Chatral RInpoche. This is the lama that the Catholic monk, Thomas Merton, met in 1968 and lives in the valley of Parphing (spelling might be off here!) We went just to bring offerings - he doesn't see many these days, and what a great trip - how auspicious! Our bus was stopped on the road due to an accident- and we had to walk across the valley floor! I was carrying a sack of tsampa and incense and tea in my backpack and it was a ball. And, it was a beautiful valley. After our visit and stopping for tea, (of course, this is India, afterall!) we visited great meditation caves and had a great local lunch. Lama Padma was a blast and I loved visiting him and telling the others of our first "meeting" at the door to the temple.

I am back in my simple routine! Up before breakfast at six and my first class which is at 7:15. Then, I walked the path to Rajpur I mentioned above for a "spot of tea" at the best tea shop! I had a cup of coffee, which is made Indian style with mile and sugar and is just great - not very strong - it's Nescafe instant!

I send to you all, all my love and look so forward to seeing you in June! and July! and August! Then, back to India for another season with these nuns, who I love. Some I call my daughters and they are opening affectionate with hugs and we laugh a lot - yes, my big laugh is something for them to behold!

Blessings - Nellie