Wednesday, December 22, 2010
MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM INDIA
Hello Dear Friends, and Merry Christmas from India!
The weather here has been really cold and I have to laugh for the last winter I stayed, in 08 to 09, it was so moderate. We have all been commenting on the cold and many are buying new blankets and jackets. Even one of the Khenpo’s from Ladakh came out last night in his new jacket that looked like it came from L.L. Bean and he was precious in that big coat and hat! He and I have been watching this full moon rise these past few evenings and practicing English. I bring a cushion to sit on so that the metal seat isn’t too cold and I am wrapped in layers; which, by the way is how I sleep!
The biggest news is that I am returning to the U.S. for many reasons. As we speak, there is a man named Alban, who happens to be in Delhi, and he is making the arrangements through the online service I used to book this flight originally. British Air, under the weight of all that snow in England has been swamped, but he’ll get through, I am sure. He also had the help of my dear and precious sister, Candy. The other morning, after trying for 4 days to get help, she happened to be online and she and I and Alban finally were able to change the flight booking. I could not have done it without Candy, but it wasn’t her help alone; it was the attitude that she sent me of such unconditional regard; no judgement.
I have had to face my own shadow and the many moves and the instability of my life and that isn’t easy, Talking about dharma or about how to make changes in our lives is easy. Doing it, isn’t! Physician heal thyself and it seems I came here to see these things that I am sure are obvious to anyone who knows me. The running! What was I running from, of course, but my own negative thoughts and feelings. Actually seeing this, with clarity, is healing but what I found was also necessary, was the love of friends and family.
I see it like this; I was finally able to demolish this idol of myself and some poor structuring of my own personality as one demolishes an old house. I thought it would finish me for sure, for my own judgement of myself was harsh. But, standing there, were friends and my sister Candy and of course, my brother, Ed.
Without question, they gave me support and in my life, there have been too many times to name when I have received this in so many ways from so many and today, despite a financial poverty, I have found that what makes me rich is this love. From the Friend who comes through these people who have had patience with me, when I had none!
This is my gift to myself. To come home. To see my friends and to be with my family.
I have a place to stay and the Keller’s who have housed me before and for more years than with my own biological family - they are there again for me.
I came to India to find Enlightenment. I found both my own weaknesses which were ready to be healed and the Love of others, that turned out to be the medicine. That is truly a Gift. That is the Birth of Love that I needed to experience in this season of Love and for this I am truly grateful. There are others out there and you know who you are; Rhonda, David, Kay, Val, Boo, Dear and Bags; there are more names than I can say- so let me say to you all; I am deeply grateful to the love, support and comfort that you have always given me! I remember saying to the congregation of UCCL in St. John’s before I left; “You didn’t need to hear me as much as I needed to speak and to hear myself. For that, I am so grateful.” May Peace be alive in each of you and in all of you, now and always.