I am here again, sitting in an airport waiting for the departure for Heathrow Airport in London, and then, on to Delhi; back to India. Wow. I am exhausted, for the last minute details always seem to be too numerous, no matter how much I plan; exchanging currency; checking in online and seat selection; arrangements for transportation in India; flights to Nepal; packing; unpacking; packing; unpacking! Yet with each step, with every single one, there has been Help. So much Help - All of this help comes from my Friends; from each one of you. How do I thank you? You have supported this pilgrimage with your donations and generosity, with your beds that I stayed in and the cars I used! You have fed me and you have laughed with me and we have also cried together. How great!
My one big bag is checked now for this 747 British Air behemoth and my seat selection was changed to an exit row (yeah!), and now, I can sit and decompress and simply say my few words of thanks to the One that brings us all together and that holds us as one family! And, I can promise to hold you all in my thoughts, prayers and contemplations and to remember you to the lamas and masters that cover all the land in India from all traditions. I can remember you and will stay in touch with you through the blog Kay Wolf again is facilitating that is easy enough to remember:
NELLIE IN INDIA. Don’t you love it?
I have written a few drafts for the book, Buddhist Footprints in a Christian Heart and only after this 3rd draft did I hear my own voice and find the rhythm of my heart that sounds like me and it is this I hope to translate and edit and listen to as I teach the anis English and as I continue to seek peace!
Let’s promise each other that matter what the news describes, we will find the voice within our hearts, and remember love and compassion and mercy. Remember me and each other and as we begin and end each day, let’s try to say a few words of thanks and gratitude for our lives and what we call in Buddhism, the Precious Human Birth. We have the gifts and all the tools to practice compassion and we have the reminders of teachers from all times and from all places and traditions who tell us of a different Reality that does not fluctuate nor diminish nor distinguish between high and low, and rich and poor.
The speakers hear announce so many coming and goings and groups and individuals all pass me on their ways to destinations around this globe and sitting here it is as if I am watching my own constant and noisy thoughts! I have a few hours to just breathe again. I have a few hours to pray and to repeat the syllables on these rosary beads that remind me that all is well.
It is always and ever so. Peace.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
ON A TOWN SQUARE
I’m sitting in a cafe in Pendleton, South Carolina, having a blueberry scone and a latte -delicious! I look out at the town square and the shops and it is the quiet of the place that reminds me of how tired I was. The traffic jam was on I-187 and was about 8 cars slowly traveling behind the Pendleton High school bus. On either side of the car were fields; a bit different from life in Annapolis, Baltimore and DC! But leaving the area that I have called home since 1992 - was exhausting, because good-byes can be! The last day in Annapolis, I had a few sessions, a eulogy, and an airport pick-up before I began that evening the journey south to Miami, the city that will be my departure to India.
Sitting here and remembering this morning’s contemplation, the focus of the retreat I facilitate at the Unity Church of Creative Living in St. John’s (Jax), Florida this coming weekend I am refreshed and grateful for the gift of this congregation. I WILL BE HEALED AS HE TEACHES ME HOW TO HEAL, the words from the Course in Miracles is comforting. As I prepared the outline, there it was, spread before me like a garden and I can't wait to sit in the sanctuary again, where I have been so welcomed and supported, and hear the Teachings with so many Friends. Thank you UCCL. I am there Friday night and Saturday before I leave afterward for Gainesville, then, Miami!
Yesterday, I made the flight reservations for Delhi, through London, and I was surprised at the emotion I felt and the tears which quickly flowed. It is with both relief and with release- isn’t it always? I sopke with my sweet sister, Candy (thank you again, Candy-cane) who helped me in ways she doesn’t even know, being on the other end of the line and helping me select my seat for the flights from Miami and London. It’s done. I am going again.
Some ask me why I am returning if it was so hard and I had the opportunity to consider this as I answered: India was hard, but living back in the states, in some ways, is harder! Why?
In my own limited understanding, I haven’t quite learned how to be IN the world, but not of it! It looks different to me than to many others who see their circumstances and those of others as tragic and real and hard. When the reality of the dreamlike quality of what we call this outer world becomes clear, one can SEE the world passing before one’s eyes and the reaction is what is missing. One can’t drum up the same terror, I guess. It’s as if I can’t get the RPM’s on this old mind to spin as fast as it did in the past and my experience is of something central to me that is just still.... Still. All around me the whirling and the blur of activity; but inside - STILLNESS.
Now, you know me; I’m no accomplished master or guru! Just an ordinary person who pursued what others might see as an extraordinary path - that, or I’m just nuts! You choose!
So, in returning to Samtenling nunnery I know what to expect and making the arrangements is so much easier. I hope only to stabilize the changes and to rest longer in that Stillness and to write, and of course - to teach English to the nuns, my students there!
The gratitude I feel to all and each of you is honestly, a bit overwhelming. One of the things I finally really get is that no one can go it alone. Each of us holds a piece of the puzzle and a piece of the Universal Heart and only together, all of us without exception, can one experience this Holiness - this Wholeness! You have given me your love, your questions; even your doubts and some, have supported me with checks and cash given without attachment - all is part of the stones that build this path of pilgrimage.
I continue to work on the book BUDDHIST FOOTPRINTS IN A CHRISTIAN HEART and I am currently writing more chapters that I hope will better clarify this pilgrimage I am on to know God, to realize Buddha-nature; to rest in the Truth beyond lineages, cultures, languages and ritual! Why not? and why not now?
I have a blog: NELLIE IN INDIA that Kay has linked the website www.nellielauth.com.
Please don’t send anything to the PO BOX in Annapolis! I’M NOT THERE!! Email me if you need to send something!
Where will it end now? Where does it begin? NOW.
In THIS moment. With YOU. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
WITH LOVE
ALWAYS
AND IN ALL WAYS
NELLIE
Sitting here and remembering this morning’s contemplation, the focus of the retreat I facilitate at the Unity Church of Creative Living in St. John’s (Jax), Florida this coming weekend I am refreshed and grateful for the gift of this congregation. I WILL BE HEALED AS HE TEACHES ME HOW TO HEAL, the words from the Course in Miracles is comforting. As I prepared the outline, there it was, spread before me like a garden and I can't wait to sit in the sanctuary again, where I have been so welcomed and supported, and hear the Teachings with so many Friends. Thank you UCCL. I am there Friday night and Saturday before I leave afterward for Gainesville, then, Miami!
Yesterday, I made the flight reservations for Delhi, through London, and I was surprised at the emotion I felt and the tears which quickly flowed. It is with both relief and with release- isn’t it always? I sopke with my sweet sister, Candy (thank you again, Candy-cane) who helped me in ways she doesn’t even know, being on the other end of the line and helping me select my seat for the flights from Miami and London. It’s done. I am going again.
Some ask me why I am returning if it was so hard and I had the opportunity to consider this as I answered: India was hard, but living back in the states, in some ways, is harder! Why?
In my own limited understanding, I haven’t quite learned how to be IN the world, but not of it! It looks different to me than to many others who see their circumstances and those of others as tragic and real and hard. When the reality of the dreamlike quality of what we call this outer world becomes clear, one can SEE the world passing before one’s eyes and the reaction is what is missing. One can’t drum up the same terror, I guess. It’s as if I can’t get the RPM’s on this old mind to spin as fast as it did in the past and my experience is of something central to me that is just still.... Still. All around me the whirling and the blur of activity; but inside - STILLNESS.
Now, you know me; I’m no accomplished master or guru! Just an ordinary person who pursued what others might see as an extraordinary path - that, or I’m just nuts! You choose!
So, in returning to Samtenling nunnery I know what to expect and making the arrangements is so much easier. I hope only to stabilize the changes and to rest longer in that Stillness and to write, and of course - to teach English to the nuns, my students there!
The gratitude I feel to all and each of you is honestly, a bit overwhelming. One of the things I finally really get is that no one can go it alone. Each of us holds a piece of the puzzle and a piece of the Universal Heart and only together, all of us without exception, can one experience this Holiness - this Wholeness! You have given me your love, your questions; even your doubts and some, have supported me with checks and cash given without attachment - all is part of the stones that build this path of pilgrimage.
I continue to work on the book BUDDHIST FOOTPRINTS IN A CHRISTIAN HEART and I am currently writing more chapters that I hope will better clarify this pilgrimage I am on to know God, to realize Buddha-nature; to rest in the Truth beyond lineages, cultures, languages and ritual! Why not? and why not now?
I have a blog: NELLIE IN INDIA that Kay has linked the website www.nellielauth.com.
Please don’t send anything to the PO BOX in Annapolis! I’M NOT THERE!! Email me if you need to send something!
Where will it end now? Where does it begin? NOW.
In THIS moment. With YOU. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
WITH LOVE
ALWAYS
AND IN ALL WAYS
NELLIE
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